School's Out for Summer

Now that I have you all singing that song... HA!

Yesterday was my boys' last day of school. I have mixed emotions about this summer. For one thing, I am grateful that I am able to stay at home with them and spend some time figuring out who they really are.. On the other hand though, I haven't the slightest idea of what we will do until August.

If anyone has any ideas, I will definately try them out! Cheap or free is best!! :)

FFF- Say Hello to my little friend... Ethan

If you don't know who Ethan is, let me introduce him. This little fellow, who turns next Thursday, belongs to a friend of mine. I met her (well, her and her husband) when I worked at 80/20, they both still work there. Sara works 9-5ish and Josh worked 10-6am. All was fine until November when 80/20 got rid of third shift, coincidentally, that is when I quit my job. Quite the timing, right?? Anyway. So Josh works second shift now, although they are continually changing his hours. Sigh. Working for "the man" is tough.

So these pictures went in backwards order... Starting from the bottom and working back up: Ethan earlier this month, sound asleep on my bed. Next, Ethan playing in the dome tent I bought for $10 at a garage sale. Yay! Next, another cool find, the mail box has a bee on it that buzzes. In the next picture, I am holding him because he is SO tired and refuses to be put down. And finally, the end result. After much protesting, he finally passes out on his diaper bag.

I love this boy. I think he loves me too.

Fave Foto Friday - Last Week's Blooper

I am a blooper, what can I say! I am late for everything, even my own blogging! Ugh!!

So here's the story (of a lovely lady?? No, Mols, shush up, I'm telling a story!! As I was saying...) about my blooper pictures. Yes, pictures. Because I can't just show you one. I got a call from the school nurse last week. She told me that Xander was playing around with his arms inside his sweatshirt - as I have seen lots of kids do - like he was wearing a straight jacket. Well, he got a little too carried away and ended up falling down with no way to stop himself. So he went face first into the floor. He told me he was sitting on a bench and hit concrete. How accurate this is, I will never really know. All I know is that she told me he fell, his mouth was bleeding, and his lip is pretty beat up. But his teeth were all there and fine, he looked a little worse for wear, but he was alright, all in all. Finally, I could breathe again. He is fine now, btw. I didn't take a "healed" picture, but he looks just like he did before the fall. But I think he will think twice before putting himself in a straight jacket again. Lol.

Catching up...

So. I blew it. I gave up. I am finished. I am not dieting anymore.

I have had it.

No, it really wasn't like that at all. I was starting to see results, I really wanted to continue... But... It is so hard to do something when the rest of your family doesn't. I only have so much willpower. I know that God uses our weaknesses to make us stronger, which really just makes me feel worse about it, like now I have truly let God down too.

...

I just need to try to limit what I put in this mouth of mine. More good, less bad. Drink more water - yuck! Limit the Pepsi - oh how I love it! You get my drift, I'm sure. You all know my pain.

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I have started my new business. I am an independent consultant for Homemade Gourmet®. This is my personal website www.homemadegourmet.com/molliedirig. This company is here to help bring friends and families back to the table. I am so excited about this new chapter in my life! I have my Cook Off this Tuesday. I can't wait to see where God leads me with this venture!

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We went to service tonight at the Chapel. Something my pastor, Rick Hawks, said didn't quite settle with me. As you may know, I am on medication for depression and anxiety. Mostly anxiety. He was talking about how God leads us through the storms of life, not over it, under it, around it, etc, but through it. How we as Christians (and non-Christians, too) sometimes think that we are shielded from the bad things because of our faith, that we are protected from them, when in fact God told us that we will have trials and tribulations. It is how we deal with them that should be the difference. "When I'm weak, You make me strong" as the lyrics and scripture go. He mentioned something about depression, how we are spiritually unwell... Even now as I try to type my thoughts, I am still unsettled.

Am I doing this to myself? If I were in the Word more, talking to Him, singing to Him, living with and for and through Him, would I still be plagued with this madness that pummels through my brain? Is this a consequence of some ill or rash decision that I once made?

I am unsure of myself now. I thought that I was doing alright. I don't like that I have to take a medication, but I am honest enough with myself to know that I am not perfect, that my reactions to my family, friends and life are not ideal. So I take a daily med.

Does that make me weak? It shouldn't. But at the same time, yes, I feel weak. I feel inadequate. I feel as if I am not "right" on my own, that I need something or someone to help me be "right" or "normal".

Sigh.

Will you pray with me?

Heaven help me. Father God, oh Abba! You know what I need. You know me, my thoughts, my going out and coming in even before I know it myself. I ask you tonight, O Lord, to show me the way You wish for me to go. Do I need this medicine? Is there another way for me to deal with this issue? What is Your will? I pray that I would hear Your message loud and clear and more than that, that I would implement whatever it is that You say. In Your Name I pray, amen.

It's been a while..

I almost forget how to blog. Oh wait, it is all coming back to me now. I just go on and on about whatever is wobbling in my head, right?? Lol.

Seriously.

I just got a call from my gyno. Yeah, we all like those calls, don't we... So I thought they were just telling me that my pap came back normal, cause I have had some issues with that before. Well, it was, but they wanted to tell me I needed a prescription for some bacterial blahblahblah. Great. If it isn't one thing, it's another. I shouldn't be suprised tho. I have always had blatter issues. I do not drink water. Not that I don't drink enough, I don't drink it. Period. I don't like the taste of water. It is so... tasteless. Ugh. No water means no pee which means bacterial infection. Yay. Sarcasm, anyone??

I have been doing the South Beach diet for the past week. I am doing moderately well. During the day, I do fine. I eat my eggs for breakfast, have a sensible lunch and dinner... But I have night-time cravings. Last night, it was for the left-over nachos that the boys didn't eat. No, I didn't eat a whole bag of chips, but no, I am not supposed to be eating chips at all. The cheesy salsa was okay, not too many carbs, plus it has other things that slow down the digestion of the carbs. But add the chips to that... Oh no. Recipe for disaster??

I went on the South Beach diet because of my trip to the gyno. I had gained 6 pounds in the last month. I'm not sure why, if it was the foods I eat combined with the lack of exercise, plus the new med I am on for my anxiety?? One or the other or all?? Either way, if the med is what made me gain the weight, then I will back off of the food, regulate what I eat, stay away from the snacky carboholic things and hope for the best. So far, I have lost 2 pounds. I'd say I am on the right track.

I am really hungry for some fruit tho. Consolation prize: I can have some next week!! :)

I am 40 pounds away from my goal. I know I can do it. I did it last year, but gave up, and then it all came back. Poo. This time, Gadget, I have you right where I want you!!

I love the idea of South Beach. You eat protein (meat, eggs, peanut butter), dairy and veg for two weeks, for Phase 1. You lose crazy pounds. Then you go to Phase 2. Start reintroducing things back into your idea, one at a time. If you gain weight, you go back on Phase 1 (or simply stop eating whatever it was that made you gain.). Following Phase 2, obviously is Phase 3, where you will be for the rest of your life. You can eat what "normal" people can, obviously watching, being careful to not over-indulge. If you gain, you get back on Phase 1 until you get back to your target weight. It is so simple. I hope I am capable of following through. It would be so much easier if I could get the family on it too. But they all need to gain weight while I need to lose.

Life is so not fair sometimes.